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The Mann Co gang. Vs.... One Tiny Red Cicada Man.

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Plot Synopsis:
Somewhere in the verse of TF2. A red hued hooded antenna man bearing a symbolic yellow heart and lettering 'C H' wielding a big hammer appears out of nowhere and pulls out a chair to chill from a hard days work, Unaware that he just teleported in an uptight headquarters called "Mann Co." And 9 Mercenary's also returned from a hard days work and then see the man there. Thinking he was some type of Spy Albeit Solider given his irrational mindset was the first to say it alongside an ultra racist caramel joke I can't say here they were still rather tensed after the battle and aimed their weapons at him John Wick style... Through the fourth wall, all the red stranger said was "Se approvechan de mi nobleza" and he vanishes out of there. The mercs reactions explained it all:

Sniper: "(Quickly touches the air thinking the stranger was still there, rubbing his glasses) Bloody hell mates! He just bloody disappeared out of bloody thin air!"

Scout: "What the hell was that crap!? (looks at Bonk) Nah I'm used to this."

Heavy: "What just happened? Heavy is very confused."

Demo: "W-What magic was this?!! My Scrumpy isn't doing this right lads you all saw this too??!"

Solider: "Damn it that magic doesn't scare me! he got away! This must be Merasmus's work! Damn him! once I find that Red traitor this American Boot will be so far up his ass he'll be kicked back to where he came!! (Shouts prejudicially)"

Demo: (comforts him) Okay Solider I think you're being a bit too excessive, We're all baffled.

Pyro: (Unintelligible Mumbles and starts clapping happily for whatever reason.)


They were bewildered by this indeed...


This wouldn't be the last they would see of him however:


Medic: "Ich weiß es nicht comrades... But he left this toy hammer... (Analyzes it more, soon making a realization that isn't clear for now... But he does his trademark smug laugh) Actually in my professional opinion its quite the interesting choice for a weapon, it may rival that specialized Crowbar we have. I vill say one thing we won't see the last of him as he'll undoubtedly come back for ziz, You like a hammer like ziz right Heavy?? (Chuckles)"

Heavy: "Oh very funny Doctor, But that weapon is for babies! I use REAL MANN'S WEAPON!! How can puny man with little toy Hammer outsmart Sasha's boolets? (laughs) And he's no match for me and my bulk!"

Scout: "Yeah you got that right, I could flex some circles around him. The bat is mightier then the sword, err, hammer in this case."

Demo: "How much do (Hiccup) you bet the lad won't come back from my explosives! (sips scrumpy)"

Solider: "I'm not scared of somebody potentially communistic!! refer to my initial statement, I will kill him and proudly crap in his mouth!! (Flashback)"

(The crew doesn't have a memory of this, but disgusted anyways knowing Solider)

Sniper: "Ehhh I dunno Doc, with lazy eyes like those that Bugger won't see my Sniper shots coming."

Pyro: (Does a hugging motion and hudahhuda's)

Medic: "(laughs) In Ordnung my friends, But it seems you underestimate this hammer. And whatever else that man has vould be very useful to us. If anything I vill use this man for my 'examinations!' "

Scout: (Shudders) "Not again Doc...Wait, what are you actually on about? Hold up I'm gonna go on a limb and say you had some history with this bootleg little red riding hood? XD"

Engie: "I was tuning my Guitar and heard a racket over yonder, What in Sam Hill are you all going on about?"

Medic: "Oh um yes! it appears we have more then just a Spy here! we have an intruder Comrades, an intruder that can potentially endanger us all do not let his silly appearance fool you!... And besides to confirm my suspicion even more... we have something we can potentially 'summon' him Anyways. look at the hammers writing. You too Engineer."

(All gather around along with a decloaked Red Spy read)
CALL THE PLEA: "OH! NOW WHO CAN HELP ME NOW?? / OH! A-NIS CÒ A THA A ’CUIDEACHADH MI A-NIS?? / OH MAINTENANT QUI PEUT M'AIDER MAINTENANT?? / ОН СЕЙЧАС КТО МОЖЕТ ПОМОЧЬ? (More comically long text)" and El Chapulin Colorado!/The Red Grasshopper/an leumadair ruadh!/Красный кузнечик!/ 赤いバッタ! (More comically long text) Will be summoned at your service!


[LATER...]



The Red Grasshopper appears again looking for his Hammer, He then whistles for it which proceeds to come back flying quickly but ducks as Medic was grabbing onto it. Grasshopper happily says "Aqui esta!" grabbing it and notices The Medic panic in German, which the Grasshopper's antennas detected

Grasshopper: "...Oh... Bist du in Ordnung?... (Switches to English) My bad dude are you okay? (Just imagine real hard of an English dub with one of Tom Kenny's performances that are not so high pitched)... Say you look familiar to a kid that summoned me in this universe... Wait a minute Ludwig is it? Its Good to see you again! How's the career going? You're not torturing animals or humans right?"

Medic calms himself and with his gifted Silver Tongue that outwitted the Devil itself responds with

"OH no no no 'HERR. HEUSCHRECKE' I don't do any experiments against mankind I'm a changed man, Its so nice to see you again after all of these years! IN FACT I apologize the intrusion we were just worked out that's all! and it seems so are you, Why don't we just take a tour around the place? Just wait till you see my newest achievements. (Evilly laughs)"

Given the bumbling nobility of the Grasshopper he agrees to be given him a tour... Right into Hell. Medic of course tricks him in the gauntlet with the Mercs, though should embrace for the cunning of The Red Grasshopper to unfold before them.

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Could potentially be an SFM project, sadly I don't have the skills currently. So, here's a description of it. I really want to see this on 15.AI please god that will make my day. XD

Basically: Lets pretend in an Alt Universe that VALVE didn't **** around and the Mercs are much higher then 9-B to 9-A or overall comparable. Speed Equalized (As if it wasn't comparable enough on an F&G) Grasshopper fights the 9 Mercs separately (Ex: Grasshopper Vs Heavy Weapons Guy. then the next lad).

Like the Grasshopper with his trusty shrinking pills, versatile Paralyzing Horn, among others. the same could be said of the Merc's Inventorial armaments at their disposal of course.

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"Calma Calma! que no panda el cúnico!"

"Let us fight Man vs Tiny Red Squashable Bug Man!"
 
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uh.

Soldier has death manip with the cow wrangler irrc and the rest of the crew have a bunch of haxes he doesn’t seem to resist. Le grasshopper man might be outhaxed here
 
Well Yes...and No XD. If we go with ALL out Hax, then the same will obviously be said for the crew. I mean already he has the Magic Wand, he'd have access to the optional stuff that can shield him from anything the crew could possibly throw at him like the magic ring which can wish for literally ANYTHING on an even more absurd scale like grant unrestricted FOP like desires such as wishing for slavery and world domination as such a range, which the sorceress/maid affirms in translation.

Not to forget most of the Hax the Magic/Spells selection are still literally magical properties Grasshopper can also negate and purify in some way (Translation: Was the one to rid Snow white from the poisoned magic apple, later after Snow White was freed this turned the witch into an attractive woman.). I haven't even gone into further detail other hax this Red Bug Boi has as well. even without more outside equipment he still has the standard versatile abilities alone to clearly stay out their reach or even deflect anything the crew could throw at back harder then a Pyro on Air Blast or trick and subdue their weaponry all together, and I don't just mean the hammer, but that alone can potentially send people and heavier objects flying distances which more often then not they couldn't fully come back from.
 
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Bump I guess, for the heck of it.

I might consider studying SFM or some other way to replicate this, it had me thinking.
 
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