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This is a little series of posts I wanted to do for fun. This is the first of several. Please enjoy.
BATMAN: KNIGHT GALLERY
Batman: Knight Gallery is actually kind of a cool idea.
It's not as exciting as a straight-up comic, but it's neat as far as world-building goes. The reader gets to imagine Bruce Wayne is a real guy who stayed up late designing his costume and all his sweet toys. Handled correctly, a journal of rejected Batman ideas is a really awesome extended universe artifact.
Too bad it contains all of Bruce Wayne's commentary. And too bad he's kind of an idiot.
Maybe make a costume that doesn't LOOK like a costume. Maybe wear cords with a fez.
It turns out all the strong and silent mystique that makes Batman cool and interesting gets thrown out the window when you have to read about him openly wondering if his new, pointy Batsuit makes him look "too fancy". This isn't Bruce Wayne's rejected journal, it's a fashion show. It's Project: Batcave.
I don't want violent criminals to have any trouble shooting me at night.
That's what you think bats look like? Jeez, no wonder you're afraid of them.
Less flamboyant Satan....but keep the heels.
What's truly baffling about these designs, apart from the fact that bats aren't red either, are Bruce's comments to himself about each picture. Notes like "drop shoulder hooks" and "cape impractical" read as though he was seeing the completed drawings for the first time and hadn't just spent hours meticuously sketching, shading, and coloring each one. It's little things like this that make you realize that Batman truly is just a crazy rich dude with legitimate mental health problems and way too much time.
Idiot-as-Moro
Perhaps even crazier than Bruce's comments on his own costumes is the way he goes about redesigning the Robin costume for his third sidekick, Tim Drake. As it goes along we actually see Batman finally realize after all these years just how impractical and inappropriate Robin's costume really is and it only took one sidekick quitting and another getting violently murdered to realize it.
A skirt would only look ridiculous in this scenario.
Batman: "Should also maybe think about not using Tim Drake's real name over and over again, in case any villains find this. I'll tell Alfred to warn Tim Drake's father, Jack Drake. I'm Bruce Wayne."
"I'm gonna burn the shit outta this kid!"
Far be it for me to critisize, because Batman certainly knows more about Batman-ing than I do, but "Exposed legs = bad" and "need weapons" sound like realizations that should not be happening late in the game.
What about this costume DOES work, Batman?
Really, it's just the wings that don't work Bats? What about the bright green codpiece? You have no problem with that? Then again, Batman seems to have an odd fixation with crotches. Like he really needs to emphasize and point them out.
"Note to Self: Make sure all the criminals know where the party is."
Hope you enjoyed this little comic riff, I'll be making more soon.
BATMAN: KNIGHT GALLERY
Batman: Knight Gallery is actually kind of a cool idea.
It's not as exciting as a straight-up comic, but it's neat as far as world-building goes. The reader gets to imagine Bruce Wayne is a real guy who stayed up late designing his costume and all his sweet toys. Handled correctly, a journal of rejected Batman ideas is a really awesome extended universe artifact.
Too bad it contains all of Bruce Wayne's commentary. And too bad he's kind of an idiot.
Maybe make a costume that doesn't LOOK like a costume. Maybe wear cords with a fez.
It turns out all the strong and silent mystique that makes Batman cool and interesting gets thrown out the window when you have to read about him openly wondering if his new, pointy Batsuit makes him look "too fancy". This isn't Bruce Wayne's rejected journal, it's a fashion show. It's Project: Batcave.
I don't want violent criminals to have any trouble shooting me at night.
That's what you think bats look like? Jeez, no wonder you're afraid of them.
Less flamboyant Satan....but keep the heels.
What's truly baffling about these designs, apart from the fact that bats aren't red either, are Bruce's comments to himself about each picture. Notes like "drop shoulder hooks" and "cape impractical" read as though he was seeing the completed drawings for the first time and hadn't just spent hours meticuously sketching, shading, and coloring each one. It's little things like this that make you realize that Batman truly is just a crazy rich dude with legitimate mental health problems and way too much time.
Idiot-as-Moro
Perhaps even crazier than Bruce's comments on his own costumes is the way he goes about redesigning the Robin costume for his third sidekick, Tim Drake. As it goes along we actually see Batman finally realize after all these years just how impractical and inappropriate Robin's costume really is and it only took one sidekick quitting and another getting violently murdered to realize it.
A skirt would only look ridiculous in this scenario.
Batman: "Should also maybe think about not using Tim Drake's real name over and over again, in case any villains find this. I'll tell Alfred to warn Tim Drake's father, Jack Drake. I'm Bruce Wayne."
"I'm gonna burn the shit outta this kid!"
Far be it for me to critisize, because Batman certainly knows more about Batman-ing than I do, but "Exposed legs = bad" and "need weapons" sound like realizations that should not be happening late in the game.
What about this costume DOES work, Batman?
Really, it's just the wings that don't work Bats? What about the bright green codpiece? You have no problem with that? Then again, Batman seems to have an odd fixation with crotches. Like he really needs to emphasize and point them out.
"Note to Self: Make sure all the criminals know where the party is."
Hope you enjoyed this little comic riff, I'll be making more soon.
