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Kid Friendly Warhammer Announced
- Thread starter ZacharyGrossman273
- Start date
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Chibi GEoM solos your puny verse.
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Why?
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- Thread starter
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Games workshop wanted to branch out the franchise.
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I feel this is going to end in a failure.
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considering how dark and morbid the warhammer 40k verse is, they have to remove most of it to make it child friendly, like the entire concepts of slaanesh and khorne must be trown out of the window
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- Thread starter
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Honestly, my opinion on this is the same opinion I have on the new Thundercats series: Who cares?
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>New Thundercats series
...There's a new Thundercats series?
...There's a new Thundercats series?
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The Everlasting said:
We don't talk about that here.
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Honestly, this happens quite a lot to me; a new version of something comes out, and people start talking about it, and I'm just like "meh."
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it's never going to be as good as the "If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device"
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lol
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What could possibly go wrong?
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The website censors and kiddifies so much it's actually adorable.
They don't even mention the word "Chaos", only reffering to them as "Forces of Evil" (Yes, really).
Also, a 12 year old Rogue Trader who hates weapons, a 13 year old boy who betrayed the Imperial Guard, and an 11 year Mechanicus Kid who's a tech-heretic. Vs the Necrons
They don't even mention the word "Chaos", only reffering to them as "Forces of Evil" (Yes, really).
Also, a 12 year old Rogue Trader who hates weapons, a 13 year old boy who betrayed the Imperial Guard, and an 11 year Mechanicus Kid who's a tech-heretic. Vs the Necrons
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I hope we get new profiles for this Kidified version of War Hammer
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Three children vs an unstoppable death robot whose gun splits you into atoms
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@Azathoth
Look at the Age of Sigmar Kids. One of them uses a slingshot as a weapon, and her backstory is that she was forced to fight on Khornate Barbarian Slave Arenas.
Said Barbarians, going by how they look in the artwork, have no scars or bloodshed, are completely clean shaves, have no mutations, nor any skulls hanging from belts and armour.
Look at the Age of Sigmar Kids. One of them uses a slingshot as a weapon, and her backstory is that she was forced to fight on Khornate Barbarian Slave Arenas.
Said Barbarians, going by how they look in the artwork, have no scars or bloodshed, are completely clean shaves, have no mutations, nor any skulls hanging from belts and armour.
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If these guys have feats I am so making pages. None of you can stop me.
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Slaanesh, God of Enjoying Things But Maybe a Little Bit Too Much
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@Azathoth
Slaanesh is the God of Strangers Who Offer You Candy
Slaanesh is the God of Strangers Who Offer You Candy
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Slaanesh pulls up in a white van wearing a trench coat and sunglasses.
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Look at this.
She was born in the Imperium and is somehow both a xenophile and a pacifist
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"Wait, this isn't DBZ." The 8-12 year old realizes as a Titan bites a guy in half
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Clearly it is a survival tactic, as the Necron will be too busy murdering her friends to notice her not shooting it.
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This is the explanation of the setting in the website. Look at it, it's adorable.
"Life in the 41st Millennium is hard"
Understatement of the last 10,000 ******* years.
"Ruled by the Emperor of Mankind from his Golden Throne on Terra"*
Who is apparently not a rotting carcass writhing eternally on a life-support mechanism powered by consumed souls, and is instead alive and well, leading his people!
"hey have achieved so much, from space travel to robotics, and yet billions live in fear."
If by space travel you mean "Opening a gateway to Hell and sailing through another dimension where physics doesn't exist to achieve FTL", and if by robotics you mean "Condemned criminals who are lobotomized and turned into mindless cyborg automatons", then sure.
"The universe seems a dangerous place, teeming with alien horrors and dark powers"
Okay, this part is actually true.
"But it is also a place bristling with adventure and wonder, where battles are won and heroes are forged."
In the Noblebrightness of the Far Future, there is only High Adventure!!!
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"Life in the 41st millennium is hard"
They forgot the words "Keeping your" at the start of that sentence.
They forgot the words "Keeping your" at the start of that sentence.
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This is our villain, Skellecron. Try counting the amount of inaccuracies in his backstory, I gave up.
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I have only one thing to say to this:
You FOOLS!!
You FOOLS!!
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It's amazing how much these profiles (Both the Space Marines and the Necrons') read like Imperial Propaganda. In fact, if they said that these books are supposed to be in-universe children's fiction, I'd stand up on my chair and applaud Games Workshop because that would be absolutely brilliant.
"Sworn defenders of humanity"
Except like, half of them are traitors and the sworn servants of Eldritch Chaos Gods, and half of the loyalist Marines are giant a-holes.
"Space Marines are the ultimate warriors".
Except for like, the dozens of classes of alien and daemonic threats who outclass them on average.
"the Emperor's chainsword-wielding champions are feared and respected throughtout the galaxies"
Imagine a hypothetical conversation:
Mom: What are you reading, little Timmy?
Child: Oh, it's this book. It's called Warhammer, and it's about Power Armoured Super-Soldiers who purge heretics with chainsaws!
"Bravest of all are the heroic Ultramarines."
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf...
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I would love if this was in universe child fiction lol, that would be an amazing twist
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It WOULD be smart for GW to play this like it's all in-universe children stories/propaganda...
...but seeing how it's GW we're talking about, I, honestly, don't expect that to happen.
...but seeing how it's GW we're talking about, I, honestly, don't expect that to happen.
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Can we address the fact that they avoid the words "God" and "Chaos" at all, for both 40K and Age of Sigmar?
They only call Big E "The Emperor", which I guess works, but Sigmar is only called "King Sigmar", which is legit never a thing, because Sigmar is first and foremost a God, and admits it. Also, it's not Chaos, it is "EVIL"
They only call Big E "The Emperor", which I guess works, but Sigmar is only called "King Sigmar", which is legit never a thing, because Sigmar is first and foremost a God, and admits it. Also, it's not Chaos, it is "EVIL"
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I can only think of all the other things GW could be doing with the amount effort they're going to have to put into editing and censoring all this...
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IT is a separate team and the two books are already written, both by one guy. They are large enough for this. In fact, they've never have such a rapid pace production like they're actually having right now.
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I have mostly a passing knowledge of WH40K. I've read of it & its lore, & watched like, the 1st 20 episodes or episodes of If The Emperor Had A Text to Speech Device, but I don't remember it well.
The Imperium of Man has toys?
@Matthew Schroeder: What are the inconsistencies with "Skellecron"? I don't know the Necrons that well, but am eager to learn.
In any case, I wonder what will become of the Chaos Gods.
Also, I don't like to imagine Slaanesh offering drugs & other such things typically illegal for children, but I do speculate about what else Slaanesh would do, especially a "kid friendly" version.
"Hey, kids! Try all these new snacks & games! Really real VR combat!! Parties! Light shows!! SUGAR HIGH EVERRRRRYYYY DAYYYY!!!"
Then again, Slaanesh probably does all that already, being that they do all things sensory & emotional, all the time, no? Good & ba-
....Wait, wouldn't that mean Slaanesh also encourages kids to go emo & slit their wrists?
The Imperium of Man has toys?
@Matthew Schroeder: What are the inconsistencies with "Skellecron"? I don't know the Necrons that well, but am eager to learn.
In any case, I wonder what will become of the Chaos Gods.
Also, I don't like to imagine Slaanesh offering drugs & other such things typically illegal for children, but I do speculate about what else Slaanesh would do, especially a "kid friendly" version.
"Hey, kids! Try all these new snacks & games! Really real VR combat!! Parties! Light shows!! SUGAR HIGH EVERRRRRYYYY DAYYYY!!!"
Then again, Slaanesh probably does all that already, being that they do all things sensory & emotional, all the time, no? Good & ba-
....Wait, wouldn't that mean Slaanesh also encourages kids to go emo & slit their wrists?
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