I laughed. "You want to help. You. Meaning Crayak."
"Yes, it is rather puzzling, isn't it?" the Drode mocked.
<Why would you help?> Ax asked.
"It's all part of a deal. My master, the great and glorious Crayak, and your friend, the simpering, meddling nitwit called the Ellimist, have a deal. Neither of them really approves of a mere Yeerk possessing the most powerful device in galactic history."
"In other words, this Time Matrix could endanger Crayak himself," Marco translated.
The Drode laughed. "Don't be a fool. Nothing threatens great Crayak. However . . . one doesn't want mere baboons blundering about with Time Matrices, does one? Who knows what harm they might do? Oh, sure, it's all fun and games when they end up starting genocidal wars or engendering race hatred —"
"Yeah, what's more fun than that?" Rachel said dryly.
"— but who knows what other damage a fool with such power may do?"
"Crayak could grab the Time Matrix himself," Jake said. "He has the power."
"Mmmm, well . . ." the Drode said.
Crayak and the Ellimist were to humans what humans are to ants. Nearly omnipotent creatures. One evil. One good.
Perhaps. We could never be entirely sure.
<The Rules,> Tobias said. <That's the problem. The rules of the game between Crayak and the Ellimist. Neither trusts the other with the Time Matrix. They don't need it themselves, but they might give it to their allies.>
The Drode put his hand to his ear. "Did I just hear a bird chirping?"
"You mentioned a deal," Marco said.
"Yes," the Drode said. "A deal. And here it is: The six of you will be allowed to follow the Time Matrix. The former Visser Four set off on his journey two days ago. You will be translated back to that point and then the quanta that make up your atoms will be . . . tuned. Yes, that's a good word for simple minds to comprehend. You'll be fine-tuned at the subatomic level to resonate with the movements of the Time Matrix as it travels through time. Your own memories and personalities will, of course, be buffered. Protected against changes."
<Resulting in what effect?> Ax demanded.
"Resulting in the effect that, like an echo, you will follow the Time Matrix. It plucks the chords of time and you reverberate." He stopped and shook his head in admiration of his own words. "Brilliantly explained, eh?"
"That's the deal?" Jake asked. "That's it?"
"There's something else, isn't there?" I asked the Drode.
The Drode laughed. "Oh, yes. There is something else, little Cassie. Cassie the killer with a conscience. Kill 'em, then cry over 'em. That's our Cassie."
"What's the something else?" I repeated, not letting the evil little creep see that his words had hit home.
"My master Crayak has demanded a price. A payment."
"A payment."
"Uh-huh," the Drode said in a parody of coyness.
"What?"
"One of you," the Drode said. "You can attempt to save your reality, put everything back where it belongs, end slavery, replace tyranny with democracy, millions of lives saved, let freedom ring, glory hallelujah in exchange . . . in exchange for one, single life."
"A life?" I asked.
"The life of one of you. That is my master Crayak's price: One of you must die."
Into the cave, Cassie.
All for what? For nothing. To delay the Yeerks, but never to win. And someday, to lose.
Was there no way out?
"There's always a way out, Jake the Mighty," a voice said. "My lord Crayak holds out his omnipotent hand to you, Jake the Yeerk Killer. Jake the Ellimist's tool."
I sat up. I knew the voice.
The Drode stood by my desk. It wasn't large. It perched forward like one of those small dinosaurs. It had mean, smart eyes in a humanoid head. It was wrinkled, dark green or purple maybe. So dark it was almost black. The mocking mouth was lined with green.
The Drode was Crayak's creature, his emissary, his tool. Crayak was . . . Crayak was evil. A power so vast, so complete that only the Ellimist could keep him in check. A balance of terror: evil and good checking each other, limiting each other, making deals that affected the survival of entire solar systems.
"Go away," I said to the Drode.
"But you called me."
"Go back to Crayak. Leave me alone."
The Drode smiled. He got up and moved closer. Closer till his face was only inches from my own.
"There is a way out," the Drode whispered. "Say the word and it never was, Jake. Say the word, Jake, and you never walked through the construction site. Say the word and you know nothing. No weight on your shoulders. Say the word."
"Go away," I said through gritted teeth.
"How long till your cousin Rachel loses her grip? You know the darkness is growing inside her. How long till Tobias dies, a bird, a bird! How can he ever be happy? How long till Marco is forced to destroy his own Controller mother? Will he survive that, do you think? How long, Jake, till you kill Tom? Then what dreams will come, Jake the Yeerk Killer?"
"Get out of here. Crawl back under your rock."
"It will happen, Jake. You know that. The cave. The day will come. You know what the cave is, Jake. You know what it means, that dark cave. You know that death is within. When she dies, when Cassie dies, it will be at your word, Jake."
I covered my face with my hands.
"My master Crayak offers you an escape. In his compassion Great Crayak has struck a deal with that meddling nitwit Ellimist. Crayak would free you, Jake. Crayak would free you all. All will be as it would have been if you had simply taken a different path home."
I saw that moment again. At the mall. Deciding whether to take the safe, well-lit, sensible way home. Or the route that would take us through the construction site, and to a meeting that would change everything.
Undo it. Undo it all. No more war. No more pain and fear and guilt?
"Just one word, Jake," the Drode whispered. "No . . . no, two, I think. One must not sacrifice good manners. Two words and it never was. Two words and you know nothing, have no power, no responsibility."
"What words?"
"One is Crayak. The other is please."
I wanted to say no.
I wanted to say no . . .
I wanted . . .
<Two . . . >
"Oh, all right, all right!" the disembodied voice cried. "Stop it, stop it."
A thing, an alien, I suppose, something, anyway, that looked an awful lot like a small dinosaur with the skin of a prune, appeared.
The Andalite stepped back from the controls, ready to shoot this latest enemy.
He fired. The energy beam traveled half the distance to the alien, then froze. Simply stopped.
"It was the girl, wasn't it?" the prune thing said, rolling its green-rimmed eyes upward. "She corrupted the time flow."
Now a second figure appeared. He could have been a little old man. If you ignored the fact that he was kind of bluish. And glowing. I had the sense that he was no such thing, but that was his appearance.
This creature, this old man, laughed. "It's not so easy, is it, Drode?"
"You cheated me, Ellimist," the Drode snapped. "We had a deal, a trade-off. You were allowed to meddle with the time line in the Falla Kadrat situation, and we, my master Crayak and I, were to be allowed to tempt this young jackal here." He stabbed a finger at me.
"I kept my bargain," the Ellimist said. "I have done nothing to bring about this result. The girl is an anomaly. She is sub-temporally grounded. You were careless."
"She's a freak of nature!" the Drode screamed.
The Ellimist nodded. "Yes. She is."
Marco said, "What is going on here?" He was no longer a gorilla. "I'm pretty sure I was dead, then I'm a gorilla."
"Oh, I see it now, I see it now," the Drode said, ignoring Marco, ignoring all of us. "Subtle as always, Ellimist. Your meddling came before, didn't it? How could we not have seen it? Elfangor's brother? His time-shifted son? This anomalous girl here? And the son of Visser One's host body? A group of six supposedly random humans that contains those four! You stacked the deck!"
"Did I?" The Ellimist laughed. "That would have been very clever of me."
The Drode spat in disgust. "You knew the girl was an anomaly. You knew she was sub-temporally grounded. And you knew that whatever time line I built, her presence would eventually destabilize it. She knew from the start that the time line had shifted. She felt it. I might as well have terminated this exercise then. I saw the sudden, inexplicable transportation of the mother, I thought, well, it's a glitch! The hands morphing to tiger. All the little breakdowns of logic and sequence. I still thought it might hold together."
Cassie said, "Is anyone going to tell us what is going on here?"
The Ellimist winked at her. And suddenly, alive, in the room with us, were Rachel and that kid Tobias.
"Does this feel more right, Cassie?" the Ellimist asked.
She nodded. "This is everyone. Only Tobias should be . . ."
As I watched in amazement, Tobias seemed to melt, to shift, to dwindle. In seconds there was a hawk where he had been.
"Most creatures live entirely within their time line," the Ellimist said. "Like a person trapped in a single room. They see only what is within those four walls. Others . . . like yourself, Cassie, can see beyond those walls. Can see other rooms, as though the walls were translucent. You felt the change. You sensed that things were not right. You could see, only dimly, but still you could see beyond. You could see what should be, where you belonged, and without consciously knowing it you were working to repair what had been torn apart. To reconstitute time as it should have been. You were a virus in the software. You degraded the subtle workings of the Drode's artificial time shunt."
"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," Cassie said.
"You were i this time line, but of another. That is an anomaly. An impossibility. One of the two time lines was doomed to fail. You grounded the true time line. And thus, this time line began to fall to pieces."
"Who are you two?" I demanded of the Ellimist and the Drode.
"He's an old cheat," the Drode snapped. "There are rules, Ellimist!"
"Yes. And I obeyed them. I allowed you to create this alternate time line. And in this time line these humans and this Andalite came very close to annihilating the Yeerk presence. You suspended the exercise. Not me. You can continue this time line, or allow these young ones to return to their own times."
The Drode's face was twisted with hatred. "Crayak will have him yet."
He was talking about me. I knew it suddenly. I knew who I was. I knew it all. I was myself once more. Leader of the Animorphs.
With that knowledge came a sledgehammer of guilt.
It was all my fault! I had weakened. I'd said yes to the Drode. I'd given in. Marco, Rachel, Cassie, Tobias, all dead — at least in this reality — because I had weakened and taken the Drode's offer.
"Perhaps, Drode. Perhaps Crayak will have him," the Ellimist said. "But, then again, perhaps he will have Crayak."
The Drode disappeared. The six of us, the Animorphs, stood there on the wrecked bridge of the Blade ship with the nearly all-powerful creature called the Ellimist.
"At least we'd have won in this time line," I said.
He shook his head. "Yes. But you all would have died. And millions of humans, too, before the victory."
"I gave in," I whispered. "I gave in."
"You have been strong for a long time," he said.
"He shouldn't have to be," Rachel erupted angrily. "None of us should have to. This is enough. This has gone on too long!"
Tobias said,
"Of course you wouldn't," Rachel growled.
I said, "Ellimist, is there anything better in our real time line? Will it happen any better, there? Will it, at least, ever end?"
The Ellimist looked at me. Just at me. Sadly, I thought. Pitying.
"It will end," he said. "It will end."
I wanted to ask him more. But I knew that was all I'd get.
"So, what happens now?" Cassie asked.
The Ellimist took her hand and held it affectionately. "What will happen now? Only you will ever recall so much as a dim memory of this time line."
Cassie nodded, as though she'd half expected him to say that. "But I'll say nothing about it. Tobias can't know that he might have become a voluntary Controller. And Jake can't know that he ever weakened enough to take the Drode's deal."
"You are wise," the Ellimist said.
"Yeah, and I sure don't want to know that I ever dated Marco," Rachel added.
"How do we get back?" I asked. "How do we —"
D A Y Z E R O
"Help me. I'm cold."
Another battle. Another horror.
Couldn't anything make it end? Was there no way out? Was I trapped, fighting, fighting till one by one my friends died or went nuts?
I lay on my bed. Stared up at the ceiling.
"Help me. Please. I'm cold."
Into the cave, Cassie.
All for what? For nothing. To delay the Yeerks, but never to win. And someday, to lose.
Was there no way out?
"There's always a way out, Jake the Mighty," a voice said. "My lord Crayak holds out his omnipotent hand to you, Jake the Yeerk Killer. Jake the Ellimist's tool."
I sat up. I knew the voice.
The Drode stood by my desk. It wasn't large. It perched forward like one of those small dinosaurs. It had mean, smart eyes in a humanoid head. It was wrinkled, dark green or purple maybe. So dark it was almost black. The mocking mouth was lined with green.
The Drode was Crayak's creature, his emissary, his tool. Crayak was . . . Crayak was evil. A power so vast, so complete that only the Ellimist could keep him in check. A balance of terror: evil and good checking each other, limiting each other, making deals that affected the survival of entire solar systems.
"Go away," I said to the Drode.
"But you called me."
"Go back to Crayak. Leave me alone."
The Drode smiled. He got up and moved closer. Closer till his face was only inches from my own.
"There is a way out," the Drode whispered. "Say the word and it never was, Jake. Say the word, Jake, and you never walked through the construction site. Say the word and you know nothing. No weight on your shoulders. Say the word."
"Go away," I said through gritted teeth.
"How long till your cousin Rachel loses her grip? You know the darkness is growing inside her. How long till Tobias dies, a bird, a bird! How can he ever be happy? How long till Marco is forced to destroy his own Controller mother? Will he survive that, do you think? How long, Jake, till you kill Tom? Then what dreams will come, Jake the Yeerk Killer?"
"Get out of here. Crawl back under your rock."
"It will happen, Jake. You know that. The cave. The day will come. You know what the cave is, Jake. You know what it means, that dark cave. You know that death is within. When she dies, when Cassie dies, it will be at your word, Jake."
I covered my face with my hands.
"My master Crayak offers you an escape. In his compassion Great Crayak has struck a deal with that meddling nitwit Ellimist. Crayak would free you, Jake. Crayak would free you all. All will be as it would have been if you had simply taken a different path home."
I saw that moment again. At the mall. Deciding whether to take the safe, well-lit, sensible way home. Or the route that would take us through the construction site, and to a meeting that would change everything.
Undo it. Undo it all. No more war. No more pain and fear and guilt?
"Just one word, Jake," the Drode whispered. "No . . . no, two, I think, one must not sacrifice good manners. Two words and it never was. Two words and you know nothing, have no power, no responsibility."
"What words?"
"One is Crayak. The other is please."
I wanted to say no.
I wanted to say no . . .
I wanted . . .
I opened my mouth to speak.
"Oh, forget it. Never mind," the Drode said angrily.