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Writing Discussion Thread

azontr said:
A little story excerpt I wrote:

The beginning of the journey upward is arduous. Taking the first step, weight unimaginable is pressed upon one's shoulder. One will carry it without collapsing... further above the Abyss that lay dormant.

Broken bodies from beneath will rise from the immensity that lay below. They crackle and break, as if made of hardened sand. They scream, clamor, and beg for release that cannot be granted... a release that it is unlikely that they would even deserve. Ignoring their whispers... one must continue to climb the stairs.

"What is it that you desire?"

They will be asked the questions. The questions that fill their head, as if a knife had pierced their brain and forced these thoughts within...

"Do you desire a miracle?"

The questions twist and melt the body from the inside out. The blood congeals into thick branches from within the inside, protruding through the flesh, weighing down the body.

"Do you desire to fulfill a dream?"

The branches are alive. They fill you only with the questions. The branches twist and morph into grotesque shapes. Organs, ruptured beyond pair. Bones become brittle like a cracker, breaking with each step higher.

"Is it your dream..."

They will crawl through you like maggots. Tearing up your throat, ripping through the flesh of your neck... your nails break as the branches splinter through your fingers, replacing the bones. The question must be asked. The question must be answered.

"...to annihilate all of us?"

One can only climb with the intent to fulfill a desire. To make a dream that was thought impossible come true. The question left unanswered comes the body from the inside out... piercing through you from above and below, the branches fester. The limbs are rotten, dysfunctional. The mind is rotting, on the precipice of the same fate.

Eventually, the top will be reached. The branches have already pierced through the eyes, but one can still see. The mouth has been torn open, the jaw barely hanging to the head by strings of nerve and muscle... but one can still talk. You can still feel, with the questions filling your broken brain. Still hear the hollow screeching of the surrounding Abyss, attempting to break you further.

The only that lay in front of thee is an impossible being. Blackened feathers wrap around this entity... allowing only the light of its gaze to fill your form with uncontrollable emotion. The ember flickers in front of you. The scarlet ember.

"Are you capable of paying the price for your dream?"

The ember approaches you, flickering in and out of reality in front of you. It burns... making what's left of your flesh bubble and boil. It is speaking to you. It beckons you to declare yourself.

But... you do not know.

One can only speak with what little strength they can muster. Rage pushes you forward, controlling the contorted flesh and puppeting you like a doll on strings.

"I... have nothing left. I don't have anything to give you."

The ember answers this decree, as you grasp it within hand, clenching your fist. It burns. It burns. And all you can do is scream, and shout. The questions, left unanswered, have pinned you to the floor... leaving your body wrought with pain.

Agony escapes from your throat. The ember explodes, burning away all the questions... all the doubts, all the belief. And it just burns. It burns away the skin, making it brittle. Blood is turned to ash, and only fire remains, flowing in replacement of your blood. And you can only scream.

"All things in this world... come with a price. There is no exception."

The irrefutable law burns you even further into the Abyss.

"And to a flame that consumes all things... there is no reason... that it's owner should be an exception."

No man, no matter how strong-willed, could endure it. They could only linger, writhe in pain as the fire tear them to shreds. It consumed sight long ago, making you unable to see anything but the fire... and words could barely be formed. But you would speak.

"My... w... i...sh..."

"How is it that you do not see it?"

"My... wish...!"

Before you can finally answer the question, everything goes black. The world around has been consumed by a fire. The fire soon runs out to burn, and becomes nothing more than a fickle ember once more. And like all things, the ember would soon...

...extinguish.

A preamble to a story concept I'm working on, you could say.
Click to expand...
I have been thinking for a bit about the concept of "blessings" as a Power System, for a few days I think. Taking some inspiration from a few novels and comics, this is how I was thinking it would work within my setting:

  • Shrines: There are various monuments erected across the world, representing major deities or demons within the world's lore. Cities and kingdoms are built around these shrines to monopolize the supernatural properties of the shrines. Each shrine has a different set of passive abilities, some negative and some positive.

  • Miracles: It is possible to obtain a unique ability known as a "Miracle" through praying to these shrines. There are infinite Miracles that can be gained depending on what shrine is prayed to. What decides who gets a Miracle is usually random, but personal faith can influence this. Most Miracles gained are generally useless in actual combat... mostly being something such as being able to walk on water, talk to animals, levitate the tiniest bit above the ground, etc. Those with luck, a connection to a God or deity, or extreme amounts of faith can potentially gain powerful, world-altering Miracles.

  • Dreams: A different subset of abilities that one is born with. Unlike Miracles, a "Dream" can only be gained at birth, and there are a limited number of existing Dreams, though they are quite numerous. Not all Dreams are useful in combat, but they are usually something more esoteric than a Miracle, and have a cost to be used that the user must pay, whether big or small.
 
azontr said:
I have been thinking for a bit about the concept of "blessings" as a Power System, for a few days I think. Taking some inspiration from a few novels and comics, this is how I was thinking it would work within my setting:

  • Shrines: There are various monuments erected across the world, representing major deities or demons within the world's lore. Cities and kingdoms are built around these shrines to monopolize the supernatural properties of the shrines. Each shrine has a different set of passive abilities, some negative and some positive.

  • Miracles: It is possible to obtain a unique ability known as a "Miracle" through praying to these shrines. There are infinite Miracles that can be gained depending on what shrine is prayed to. What decides who gets a Miracle is usually random, but personal faith can influence this. Most Miracles gained are generally useless in actual combat... mostly being something such as being able to walk on water, talk to animals, levitate the tiniest bit above the ground, etc. Those with luck, a connection to a God or deity, or extreme amounts of faith can potentially gain powerful, world-altering Miracles.

  • Dreams: A different subset of abilities that one is born with. Unlike Miracles, a "Dream" can only be gained at birth, and there are a limited number of existing Dreams, though they are quite numerous. Not all Dreams are useful in combat, but they are usually something more esoteric than a Miracle, and have a cost to be used that the user must pay, whether big or small.
Click to expand...
That's an interesting idea.

The whole concept of faith as a power system reminds me of this Reddit post I saw a while ago.

Reddit - Dive into anything

reddit.com reddit.com
 
azontr said:
I have been thinking for a bit about the concept of "blessings" as a Power System, for a few days I think. Taking some inspiration from a few novels and comics, this is how I was thinking it would work within my setting:

  • Shrines: There are various monuments erected across the world, representing major deities or demons within the world's lore. Cities and kingdoms are built around these shrines to monopolize the supernatural properties of the shrines. Each shrine has a different set of passive abilities, some negative and some positive.

  • Miracles: It is possible to obtain a unique ability known as a "Miracle" through praying to these shrines. There are infinite Miracles that can be gained depending on what shrine is prayed to. What decides who gets a Miracle is usually random, but personal faith can influence this. Most Miracles gained are generally useless in actual combat... mostly being something such as being able to walk on water, talk to animals, levitate the tiniest bit above the ground, etc. Those with luck, a connection to a God or deity, or extreme amounts of faith can potentially gain powerful, world-altering Miracles.

  • Dreams: A different subset of abilities that one is born with. Unlike Miracles, a "Dream" can only be gained at birth, and there are a limited number of existing Dreams, though they are quite numerous. Not all Dreams are useful in combat, but they are usually something more esoteric than a Miracle, and have a cost to be used that the user must pay, whether big or small.
Click to expand...
The shrines having both positive and negative passive effects reminded me of this-
 
Pepsiman25th said:
The story I have will actually be a mix of various elements. Mainly, inspirations from various fictions like Overlord, Shield Hero, Rezero, One Piece, Undertale, and Deltarune.
Click to expand...
If I had to shorten it

It's a play on perception, realism, and imagination. The first part is basically like an introduction to realism, fantasy, imagination, and the causes of them that lead to upbringings and downfall. For example, imagination can bring you happiness while at the same time warp your perception of what is real, making the world seem like its fake. Another example is when something is way to "real", the world is normal, but lacks imagination so leads to depression and creativity dies.

The first part of it is about a Creator trapped in a room, unable to leave it. They look out their only source of light and see a large glowing orb of warmth and they want that, to feel it also. However, the creator is unable to, so they enter a dream where a new world is born from their imagination. The creator loves their world and showers it with love. They find life and decide to harbor it.

This however comes to an end. The creator is unable to be in their dream forever, so they wonder. Their time is limited. They return to the dream and find their world is in chaos. So, the creator shatters themselves to create a crystal that will keep the dream alive, or at least going.

This then leads the world into a 23,000-year history. Various "Eras" as the locals call it. The new Era given birth by a crystal sent from the creator Avaruus as the locals call them. The 23,000-year history is divided into 7 eras. Unrecorded Era, Great Demon Era (1st), Mythical Era, Era of the Cursed Kings, War of Ruins (2nd), Chaos Era, and the current one, the Embers Era (3rd).

The (1st) (2nd) and (3rd) on some Eras corresponds to a great disaster. The current Era, Embers Era, is going through the 3rd disaster. And this is where the story truly begins.

The various elements to the world, such as power system, races, events, and locations are all inspired from various other series along with some of the characters.
 
Major Character Creation Process:
  1. See empty role(s) in story
  2. Initial character concept, most likely reused from the first draft of a different character
  3. Think of backstory to explain the current character
  4. Have interesting idea for backstory in order to tie it to other characters/the world
  5. Realize this changes the initial character concept, relations, and role in story
  6. Explore the changes and flesh out new relations/role
  7. Get over-invested in new character, expand on them further
  8. Realize their backstory is more interesting than the actual plot/current events
  9. Come up with new story idea centering around the character
  10. See empty role(s) in story
  11. See Step 2.
 
ElajRuengies said:
wanna drill this through my head, since my concept for the female lead is a bartender whose main strength is how she seems to know and be able to talk to basically everyone, and I have a self imposed challenge to have her never fight if I can help it.

It's a reflection of the theme of communication via words vs. use of force, but my brain keeps reflexively thinking of really cool fight ideas with her which undermines the whole friggin' point.
Click to expand...
Please continue to cook with this idea.
This is probably my favorite one ive seen so far.

I imagine this as a video game where you, the bartender, meet random people who talk to you about their life stories, and you can influence their actions with choices you make, which can lead to some interesting dialogue and interactions.

I'd like to hear more about this story cuz it's really dope ngl
 
ElajRuengies said:
Major Character Creation Process:
  1. See empty role(s) in story
  2. Initial character concept, most likely reused from the first draft of a different character
  3. Think of backstory to explain the current character
  4. Have interesting idea for backstory in order to tie it to other characters/the world
  5. Realize this changes the initial character concept, relations, and role in story
  6. Explore the changes and flesh out new relations/role
  7. Get over-invested in new character, expand on them further
  8. Realize their backstory is more interesting than the actual plot/current events
  9. Come up with new story idea centering around the character
  10. See empty role(s) in story
  11. See Step 2.
Click to expand...
I lowkey follow that exact same process.
 
Nierre said:
Please continue to cook with this idea.
This is probably my favorite one ive seen so far.

I imagine this as a video game where you, the bartender, meet random people who talk to you about their life stories, and you can influence their actions with choices you make, which can lead to some interesting dialogue and interactions.

I'd like to hear more about this story cuz it's really dope ngl
Click to expand...
Ay, the multiple-path video game idea's really neat- being able to see the what-ifs for different character interactions is always interesting since it lets you see more sides to them than a single course of a events does. Unfortunately the story in it's current form isn't quite as fun.
In a power system that lets soldiers get as strong as nuclear weapons, how powerful must the WMDs be? How great must a weapon be in order to force the world into peace? And how do you go about creating such a weapon?

That is the question of one Farest University graduate Kiera Solemark's research paper, as she travels abroad deep into the burls of Rosaline; basically the Australia of the world in terms of historical separation from everything else, including the constant looming tension between the two greatest powers on the planet.

Her research lands her in Shoal, a small town located near a weird spot of geography she believes holds the secrets to a new power source. Living on the second floor of The Midnight- one of those funky buildings that's a business on ground level and an apartment on top- and with limited (expensive) communication back home, she alone must contend with the horrendous weather, nightmarish local wildlife, growing list of mysteries about the area, and her increasingly obvious crush on the bartender working downstairs, who seems to know damn near everything.
Click to expand...
The original name of the story was "The Space Race" for now obsolete reasons. I'm now thinking of something like "Welcome to Midnight" or something
 
Last edited:
ElajRuengies said:
Major Character Creation Process:
  1. See empty role(s) in story
  2. Initial character concept, most likely reused from the first draft of a different character
  3. Think of backstory to explain the current character
  4. Have interesting idea for backstory in order to tie it to other characters/the world
  5. Realize this changes the initial character concept, relations, and role in story
  6. Explore the changes and flesh out new relations/role
  7. Get over-invested in new character, expand on them further
  8. Realize their backstory is more interesting than the actual plot/current events
  9. Come up with new story idea centering around the character
  10. See empty role(s) in story
  11. See Step 2.
Click to expand...
I have the complete opposite problem where I have an interesting idea for a character, then realize I need a world for them to inhabit and characters to interact and clash with them.
 
ElajRuengies said:
Ay, the multiple-path video game idea's really neat- being able to see the what-ifs for different character interactions is always interesting since it lets you see more sides to them than a single course of a events does. Unfortunately the story in it's current form isn't quite as fun.

The original name of the story was "The Space Race" for now obsolete reasons. I'm now thinking of something like "Welcome to Midnight" or something
Click to expand...
KEEP GOING KEEP GOING
 
Nierre said:
Hmm honestly any. And no problem, the theme sparked my interest and I like the setting as well
Click to expand...
So next week is finals week and I've got my last assignments due, but I do have some general stuff I can show right now, namely how far away from everything Rosaline is-



(Top is Calvaria, Middle Big is Kork, Middle Small is Ramus, and Bottom is Ancala, and the distant one is Rosaline)

This is nowhere near done, as I'm still cleaning up ocean crust (the more blue areas are where there's overlapping layers, which shouldn't be a thing) and the subduction zones in blue aren't all there, but this is the general location of the continents in my world at the current day. I've spent the last couple months finagling GPlates to get the tectonic history, partially for mountain range placement, and partially so I can put off trying to learn how to use Adobe Illustrator. Also I somehow just realized now that Rosaline is at the same latitude as Mexico and I need it to be way, way higher up.
 
Last edited:
ElajRuengies said:
So next week is finals week and I've got my last assignments due, but I do have some general stuff I can show right now, namely how far away from everything Rosaline is-



(Top is Calvaria, Middle Big is Kork, Middle Small is Ramus, and Bottom is Ancala, and the distant one is Rosaline)

This is nowhere near done, as I'm still cleaning up ocean crust (the more blue areas are where there's overlapping layers, which shouldn't be a thing) and the subduction zones in blue aren't all there, but this is the general location of the continents in my world at the current day. I've spent the last couple months finagling GPlates to get the tectonic history, partially for mountain range placement, and partially so I can put off trying to learn how to use Adobe Illustrator. Also I somehow just realized now that Rosaline is at the same latitude as Mexico and I need it to be way, way higher up.
Click to expand...

Wow, an actual planet map. These don't happen very often

What app did you use to make it? And is it earth sized or slightly bigger/smaller? After Moon-Sized Earth in Avatar, I need to know
 
Peppersalt43 said:
Wow, an actual planet map. These don't happen very often

What app did you use to make it? And is it earth sized or slightly bigger/smaller? After Moon-Sized Earth in Avatar, I need to know
Click to expand...
Been using GPlates for the past couple months- it's slightly smaller than Earth, 91.4% the radius (~5830.12 km) and 77.7% the mass, making it a smidge smaller than Venus, meaning basically the same gravity as Earth. So no One Piece Star-Sized Planets for me

Rosaline is a bit smaller than Australia, Ramus is a hair bigger than Australia, Calvaria's between Europe and Antarctica, Ancala is a little smaller than North America, and Kork is slightly bigger than Africa.

With that said, since it's possible for pre-modern humans to achieve supersonic speeds, these regions feel a lot smaller than our continents do territory-wise. The equivalent of a typical medieval kingdom could be the size of Poland, while Empires would regularly cover a continent, so Rosaline's separation is more due to horrible superweather rather than distance.
 
I don't know if y'all remember but I said that I want to write a verse with a mechanic were everyone can fight each other with equalized stats. Even planet busters, gods, normal humans, etc.

I thought "How would a character fight armies if everyone had equalized stats? Would they have to 1v1 everyone with equal stats?" So I thought about making it so that high tier characters can just one shot irrelevant characters like weak soldiers and stuff like that. How? By making your "level of importance" a powerlevel.

If you are more important than your opponent to an absurd degree, you can ignore their attempts at equalizing their stats to yours and simply oneshot them or speedblitz them.

Higher level of importance = Higher hax resistance (Not an immunity), higher luck and fate favors you (Canonical plot armor)

And the level of importance can be determined by how many lives, places, things and people you can affect. So a random homeless terrorist wouldn't be capable of assassinating a dictator unless he increases his importance.

Thoughts?
 
Deidalius said:
I don't know if y'all remember but I said that I want to write a verse with a mechanic were everyone can fight each other with equalized stats. Even planet busters, gods, normal humans, etc.

I thought "How would a character fight armies if everyone had equalized stats? Would they have to 1v1 everyone with equal stats?" So I thought about making it so that high tier characters can just one shot irrelevant characters like weak soldiers and stuff like that. How? By making your "level of importance" a powerlevel.

If you are more important than your opponent to an absurd degree, you can ignore their attempts at equalizing their stats to yours and simply oneshot them or speedblitz them.

Higher level of importance = Higher hax resistance (Not an immunity), higher luck and fate favors you (Canonical plot armor)

And the level of importance can be determined by how many lives, places, things and people you can affect. So a random homeless terrorist wouldn't be capable of assassinating a dictator unless he increases his importance.

Thoughts?
Click to expand...
Hey, I remember this
Deidalius said:
This is a series of laws of reality that were made for my stories. I haven't updated it in a long time. I just translated it to English since I mainly write in Spanish so I thought of sharing this concept here to get feedback.
docs.google.com

The rule of Claymore, level of importance and reflections of the universe.docx

docs.google.com docs.google.com
It's only one page long.

Read it and give me your thoughts on it.
Click to expand...
So, have you revised it?
 
Earth-Moon System

World Map

Basically the map and the illustration of how it is seen from the space of the story that I create, with the only error being the belt that orbits the Earth that I placed in the wrong place, in reality it is smaller and orbits closer to the planet like Saturn's rings

It's basically planet Earth after an apocalyptic third world war, the reason the planet is so different from normal is because of the interference of approximately 100 individuals with supernatural powers battling on the planet.

Generally in fiction when a large-scale battle occurs on the planet the effects are most of the time not permanent, I wanted to portray a reality where the battle of super-powered individuals leaves scars across the planet.
 
The moon was shattered and transformed into the rings that orbit the Earth and an ice moon was placed in its place so that there would be no major effects on the oceans and much disruption to the fauna.

Unfortunately regarding the map, not all the names of each place are correct and are only provisional until a better name is found.
 
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