(VOTES NEEDED) A human solos a beeg ape! (Composite Human (Real World) Vs Gigantopithecus)

[H3110l12345I20]

A while ago, someone (I don't want to name anyone for their sake) made a surprisingly one-side matchup between a partially inaccurate CH blog & Gigantopithecus. However, I decided to make a fairer one myself.

Gigantopithecus:

The perfect human: 2 (ScalingRandomVerse, JustANormalLemon, )

Some ugly, giant alien fishes jump on both of them:

I also had a complaint where the gravity of the planet would cause the opponents to not be able to move at all, & surprisingly that's true, & the size of the Earth would make the planet uninhabitable it turns out.

Illustration:

So I'll make this still SBA in Central Park, but make the Jupiter sized Earth anomalously habitable for IRL life regardless of outside influences. Anything 9-C+ & above is restricted, CH only has traditionally melee weapons & guns, & CH has 30 mins of prep (hopefully not overkill). CH starts with an AK-47, starting 4.81 m away from & facing the initially stationary bloodlusted Gigantopithecus at the start of the battle.

Spoiler: Distance Calc

Monke can run 40 mph, 0.101 s is the fastest human reaction time recorded. v = d/t -> d = vt, so (40(0.44704))0.101 = 1.8060416 m. Since the primate was 3 m tall, I'll make the distance 3+1.81 m or 4.81 m.

On a sidenote, why is anyone complaining about how we "lost" CH? We can still edit the page.

(This match is a part of the tournament for composite human)
Do you miss the chaotic days of composite human? Do you want to go to 2019, the time of composite human's prime? Well, JOIN THE COMPOSITE HUMAN TOURNAMENT! Where you can suggest matches and debate like if composite human wasn't even deleted!!! Experience an enjoyment from the past with a profile that has over 12 more bytes than the original that has the Seal of Approval from the Joke Battles Staff themselves!

 

[H3110l12345I20]

Heaviest athlete (living) & heaviest sumo wrestler as a frame of reference btw. There's judo, but the ape deadlifts more weight.

 

[DarlingAurora]

Heaviest athlete (living) & heaviest sumo wrestler as a frame of reference btw. There's judo, but the ape deadlifts more weight.

Sumo has disadvantages, maybe Greg Kovacs?

 

[H3110l12345I20]

Sumo has disadvantages, maybe Greg Kovacs?

I mean, Cena does have a point about BMI in another thread among others here. List any of them for this debate plz

That doesn't mean they don't have advantages, they have their techniques here (which is the reason why included the Judo link). Much of the men here are commonly agile for their weight & they do have surprisingly healthy bodies. Though the links for the heaviest athletes implied that their weight very unhealthy so I'll give it here to the human for the pros & cons of being a sumo wrestler.

As long as they keep their lifestyle, obesity apparently won't be too big for them surprisingly, though I did manage to find this if you can get google translate to work here. More disadvantages here.

Though the ape can easily maul him with the right move or grab.

Greg Kovacs for reference for anyone here.

 

[DarlingAurora]

I mean, Cena does have a point about BMI in another thread among others here. List any of them for this debate plz

That doesn't mean they don't have advantages, they have their techniques here (which is the reason why included the Judo link). Much of the men here are commonly agile for their weight & they do have surprisingly healthy bodies. Though the links for the heaviest athletes implied that their weight very unhealthy so I'll give it here to the human for the pros & cons of being a sumo wrestler.

As long as they keep their lifestyle, obesity apparently won't be too big for them surprisingly, though I did manage to find this if you can get google translate to work here. More disadvantages here.

Though the ape can easily maul him with the right move or grab.

Greg Kovacs for reference for anyone here.

Not sure why BMI matters here, sumo are obviously obese, they are not taller.

They are still underweight, obviously just thay they are healthy due having normal levels of visceral fat & triglycerides. Btw, they are agile for their weight, but actually they aren't that fast at all. If CH is a sumo, they would have be slow, having too much fat & less strong due to less muscle mass.. also, sumo wrestlers can break they own bones due to much weight.

The ape can literally maul the sumo wrestler due to much fat & less muscle density.

 

[H3110l12345I20]

Not sure why BMI matters here, sumo are obviously obese, they are not taller.

They are still underweight, obviously just thay they are healthy due having normal levels of visceral fat & triglycerides. Btw, they are agile for their weight, but actually they aren't that fast at all. If CH is a sumo, they would have be slow, having too much fat & less strong due to less muscle mass.. also, sumo wrestlers can break they own bones due to much weight.

The ape can literally maul the sumo wrestler due to much fat & less muscle density.

Who do you vote though, the perfect human, or the biggest ape?

 

[H3110l12345I20]

Not sure why BMI matters here, sumo are obviously obese, they are not taller.

They are still underweight, obviously just thay they are healthy due having normal levels of visceral fat & triglycerides. Btw, they are agile for their weight, but actually they aren't that fast at all. If CH is a sumo, they would have be slow, having too much fat & less strong due to less muscle mass.. also, sumo wrestlers can break they own bones due to much weight.

The ape can literally maul the sumo wrestler due to much fat & less muscle density.

I think I originally meant to list sumo wrestler disadvantages but forgot to edit it in lol. You already did it though.

 

[DarlingAurora]

Who do you vote though, the perfect human, or the biggest ape?

Which weapons has the human?

 

[H3110l12345I20]

Which weapons has the human?

Only up to 9-B as requested, JTGamer's blog is more of a reference point for research & the original CH blog has it’s standard equipment listed. I predict CH would utilize knives & spears or even guns in a match like this.

Now that I think of it, I should reword the description to exclude hax lol.

 

[DarlingAurora]

Only up to 9-B as requested, JTGamer's blog is more of a reference point for research & the original CH blog has it’s standard equipment listed. I predict CH would utilize knives & spears or even guns in a match like this.

Now that I think of it, I should reword the description to exclude hax lol.

Hax isn't that good to kill the ape, unless you put grenades and etc.

Anyways, spears can damage the ape but I don't think that it is enough to kill it, maybe a gunshot but even a bear survived it due to their skin..

 

[H3110l12345I20]

Hax isn't that good to kill the ape, unless you put grenades and etc.

Anyways, spears can damage the ape but I don't think that it is enough to kill it, maybe a gunshot but even a bear survived it due to their skin..

So even with CH's skill, you're going for the big ape?

I mean, with this in mind, the match is still fair. People in the past have killed larger animals by their weak points or piercing weapons. I'll show some sources later since it's past midnight from where I'm texting.

 

[DarlingAurora]

So even with CH's skill, you're going for the big ape?

I mean, with this in mind, the match is still fair. People in the past have killed larger animals by their weak points or piercing weapons. I'll show some sources later since it's past midnight from where I'm texting.

Which animals being exactly? I only I see small leopards or young/injured bears, nothing more

 

[H3110l12345I20]

Which animals being exactly? I only I see small leopards or young/injured bears, nothing more

People killing a grizzly & black bear with a knife. Man solos a tiger with a spear.

Problem is, despite the upscaled weight gap from the average man to Kovacs compared to the weight gap of a Siberian Tiger to a Bengal one, I don't think anyone has managed to solo & kill an animal the size & strength of a 300 kg Gigantopithecus. Maybe there was one forgotten case in our past or even prehistoric past but we can't know for sure.

For a frame of reference, it took 8-10 native american men to hunt a single grizzly, which can lose to Tigers.

Not sure why BMI matters here

Quality of strength per weight matters, you can weigh less than a human & yet be able to drag things several times your weight more than a human would.

 

[H3110l12345I20]

bump

 

[DarlingAurora]

People killing a grizzly & black bear with a knife. Man solos a tiger with a spear.

Spear =/= Knife, with a spear the human can kill the ape, yes, but with a large one.

Btw, it was a wounded black bear and he didn't killed the grizzly, only injured it.

Problem is, despite the upscaled weight gap from the average man to Kovacs compared to the weight gap of a Siberian Tiger to a Bengal one, I don't think anyone has managed to solo & kill an animal the size & strength of a 300 kg Gigantopithecus. Maybe there was one forgotten case in our past or even prehistoric past but we can't know for sure.

Not even gorillas, let alone Gigantophitecus.

For a frame of reference, it took 8-10 native american men to hunt a single grizzly, which can lose to Tigers.

Depends on which subspecies.

Quality of strength per weight matters, you can weigh less than a human & yet be able to drag things several times your weight more than a human would.

BMI matters in sense of healthy.

A strong human which mass is 200 kg of pure muscle needs to be tall to support it, if not the own body would've crushed by mass alone. And counting that would've much fat & not healthy, also as I say despite the drag things for fighting is weak af.

 

[H3110l12345I20]

Spear =/= Knife, with a spear the human can kill the ape, yes, but with a large one.

Btw, it was a wounded black bear and he didn't killed the grizzly, only injured it.

Not even gorillas, let alone Gigantophitecus.

Depends on which subspecies.

BMI matters in sense of healthy.

A strong human which mass is 200 kg of pure muscle needs to be tall to support it, if not the own body would've crushed by mass alone. And counting that would've much fat & not healthy, also as I say despite the drag things for fighting is weak af.

So we're voting for Gigantophitecus here? I mean Joke Battles Wiki isn't as active as it used to. I love the site's joke profiles but who else will vote here? My 2 threads here are literally around the top of the vs threads here.

 

[DarlingAurora]

So we're voting for Gigantophitecus here? I mean Joke Battles Wiki isn't as active as it used to. I love the site's joke profiles but who else will vote here? My 2 threads here are literally around the top of the vs threads here.

ye

 

[H3110l12345I20]

ye

Counted, though I prefer to be the last one voting to finish this off. Now we just have to wait for months on end until 5 more people votes for the beeg ape.

 

[MonkeyOfLife]

If we are going by the profiles, the composite human stomps easily via intelligence

 

[DarlingAurora]

?

 

[H3110l12345I20]

If we are going by the profiles, the composite human stomps easily via intelligence

It's really common sense that Intelligence may not be too noticeable due to the heat of the moment, but CH has prep.

CH does have the prep & Intelligence to make things fair, but as I said, I don't think any homo sapiens in our history & prehistory has managed to solo & kill an animal of the size (& weight) of the 300 kg Gigantophitecus.

If you think Intelligence is a good argument, you should provide counterargument to my friend & I's claims here on this thread.

 

[MonkeyOfLife]

Well Extraordinary Genius is

Individuals whose knowledge spreads over multiple fields of science and who vastly surpass the real world's upper human limits.

examples of Extraordinary Geniuses are those being able to easily make lasers or easily make you be able to fly... I think giving CH preparation is definitely a stomp...

The CH is also faster and can make themselves much faster as well

 

[DarlingAurora]

Oh, I mean.. CH profile is a joke profile no? We can't take it seriously because the stats of it are weird.

 

[H3110l12345I20]

Well Extraordinary Genius is

examples of Extraordinary Geniuses are those being able to easily make lasers or easily make you be able to fly... I think giving CH preparation is definitely a stomp...

The CH is also faster and can make themselves much faster as well

CH stomps even with a minute of prep? Would no prep be still fair?

 

[H3110l12345I20]

Oh, I mean.. CH profile is a joke profile no? We can't take it seriously because the stats of it are weird.

I've been on the site for a while before & there are serious profiles on the site. We even had one for Christ himself before he was removed for obvious reasons.

The profile I linked's history even implies that the profile was from the original one from vs battles before it got removed.

I'll provide scans & evidence later. Though you can request evidence at will here fam.

 

[DarlingAurora]

Well, if we take this seriously..

Well Extraordinary Genius is

examples of Extraordinary Geniuses are those being able to easily make lasers or easily make you be able to fly... I think giving CH preparation is definitely a stomp...

The CH is also faster and can make themselves much faster as well

No human in history made lasers in that time, and flying is also fantasy. The only existing lasers needs time of preparation even with that intelligence. Even counting this, the intelligence page says that the requeriment for it is "break human limits", a composite human needs at least days to make something like a laser-blade.

 

[MonkeyOfLife]

a composite human needs at least days to make something like a laser-blade.

Bro what?

Also that profile literally makes so sense... Is it multiplying every human or is it combining the best humans?

 

[DarlingAurora]

Bro what?

As I say, no human can do a laser-blade in minutes it takes time & no superhuman existed in real life to do it that fast.

Also that profile literally makes so sense... Is it multiplying every human or is it combining the best humans?

The profile makes no sense, no human can lift 3 tons like what the hell.. some world records have nose blood trying to lift 500 kg.

Combining the best humans.

 

[It_is_i_wyatt]

i think its meant to be a human with all the human maximums for everything

 

[DarlingAurora]

i think its meant to be a human with all the human maximums for everything

Yes, that..

 

[MonkeyOfLife]

The profile makes no sense, no human can lift 3 tons like what the hell.. some world records have nose blood trying to lift 500 kg.

Combining the best humans.

Then I can be in it... So yee with how I think, I would easily beat it... I got range, I'm faster and possibly more stamina

He won't get close to me while I'm attacking at range

 

[DarlingAurora]

Then I can be in it... So yee with how I think, I would easily beat it... I got range, I'm faster and possibly more stamina

..?

 

[MonkeyOfLife]

..?

What... I have range with guns...

Yee this match doesn't even work... The profile is just wrong then... As Extraordinary Genius can easily make lasers like it's nothing or make insane armor... Think of Ironman (the movie) but much better/smarter

 

[DarlingAurora]

Well, that is my problem with CH. The profile says that discounts weakness but at same time puts nails has range when you can't even do a punch with that long nails.

Fastest human reaction is Peak Human too, the human can kill the ape with guns but depends on which guns still.

A hit from the gigantophitecus would easily kill the human.

 

[H3110l12345I20]

Well, that is my problem with CH. The profile says that discounts weakness but at same time puts nails has range when you can't even do a punch with that long nails.

Funnily enough, KLOL506 said the same thing.

I've read the replies & is this a mismatch? Being smaller does have its advantages like being harder to hit & usually being more quicker & having higher stamina than the opponent. Or that doesn't matter (if this doesn't matter, then it's best to leave this thread to die)?

Considering CH hasn't been updated since 3 years ago, we could say some of the info in it is outdated. It doesn't even have Bodily Weaponry (biting is a valid occurrence & tactic in street fights) or intuition (for ESP) as an ability. Should we make a thread here in JBW for making potential edits on the profile?

 

[DarlingAurora]

Should we make a thread here in JBW for making potential edits on the profile?

Ye

 

[DarlingAurora]

I've read the replies & is this a mismatch? Being smaller does have its advantages like being harder to hit & usually being more quicker & having higher stamina than the opponent. Or that doesn't matter (if this doesn't matter, then it's best to leave this thread to die)?

CH only advantage is experience & skills in weapons, without that idk, unless you give shotgun ir something like that

 

[H3110l12345I20]

CH only advantage is experience & skills in weapons, without that idk, unless you give shotgun ir something like that

I gave CH guns, do you want to respecify the guns into 9-C to baseline 9-B?

 

[It_is_i_wyatt]

iirc guns are considered to be able to harm 9-Bs here

 

[H3110l12345I20]

iirc guns are considered to be able to harm 9-Bs here

I was about to say that bigger size means the opponent is easier to hit, but the ape has more physical quality range than a hominid with monstrously long nails. Nails aren't 9-C+ in durability aren't they?